The things you didn’t get to do
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The things you didn’t get to do
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 08-29-2024, 12:50 PM | |||
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| 600) { tads = 4; } var chtm = ""; var chtm2 = ""; if (typeof adqty != "undefined") { tads -= adqty; chtm = ""; chtm2 = ""; } if (ppp == 1) tads = Math.min(tads, 3); var cdadWidth = "728px"; var cdadHeight = "90px"; var cdadSlot = ""; if (myWidth>=1200 && myHeight>=800) { if (randn3 == 0) { /* forum-top-guests1-rect */ cdadSlot = "9411201350"; cdadWidth = "336px"; cdadHeight = "280px"; } else { /* forum-top-guest1-leaderboard */ cdadSlot = "6318134158"; cdadWidth = "728px"; cdadHeight = "90px"; } } else if (tads Advertisements I have something on my list I need to get around to doing with my mom who I care for; it involves taking her a few states over to visit with some relatives (my dearly departed grandmother's siblings) she hasn't seen in years who are really getting up there in age.I regret I haven't done it yet but am hopeful I'll get to it soon. I also recently started a short list of things I wanted to prioritize my LO doing (i.e., go to the State Fair, get a small indoor plant since they can't garden outside anymore, etc.). Just trying to balance the everyday acts of caring for them with giving a decent quality of life (to the extent I can of course). There is also a 'special activity' I want to do with them; it's local and I think it will make a good memory and I know it is something they will like. These things got me to thinking - For those who aren't caregivers anymore, or perhaps you are but there are some things you can't do with your LO anymore, would you mind sharing? It could be places that looking back you wish you had gone with them, certain activities you wanted to do, perhaps even conversations you wanted to have or questions you wanted to get insight on from them but perhaps didn't think of until hindsight or maybe time just got away from you. This isn't meant to be a thread that drudges up regretfulness, but rather an opportunity to share as it may spark me and/or others to focus on doing certain things I/we hadn't thought of or maybe are putting off. The last few years have really got me thinking more intentionally about time, quality of time spent with my mom as well as others, and just overall prioritizing quality time. Thanks in advance for those who choose to share.  |
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08-29-2024, 12:51 PM | |||
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| Oh- By the way, you can share things you did but in looking back wouldn't have done. "Lessons learned" are always helpful to others too. |
08-30-2024, 09:35 AM | |||
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| Spousal Unit and I planned on visiting Australia and riding the trains across the continent. He's battling bone cancer now, so unless his awesome immune system completely beats back the bone cancer like it's beaten the prostrate cancer, that trip is unlikely. It's a "wouldn't that be nice" kinda thing, though, and we don't actually regret not making the trip when younger. We did the Alaska Highway trip in our RV back in 2018, so we've visited all 50 states and a couple territories, and all but three Canadian provinces, so we're good there. There are still little things on our bucket list, like visiting the Marfa Lights and McDonald Observatory, a few more national parks, and the like, for which I still have high hopes. |
08-30-2024, 01:30 PM | |||
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Honestly it can be simple things. Example, a woman in another forum mentioned that the one thing that she wished she had done was baked her special cake for them one more time before they died. It was something that they always requested and then she got busy with a new job and wasn't cooking or baking much anymore so it fell by the wayside. Since both of them had gotten frail and unable to go out to enjoy special treats, she wished she had given them that. But, it's hard to juggle everything in life and we do our best. |
08-30-2024, 03:39 PM | |||
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I'd suggest taking your Mom to visit her relatives asap. Time goes fast and even if the relatives are healthy there's no telling how much time they have left. One illness can be it for the elderly. |
08-31-2024, 11:39 AM | |||
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What does LO stand for? |
08-31-2024, 12:04 PM | |||
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Loved one |
08-31-2024, 04:45 PM | |||
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The list is long. We were finally able to live a full-time life together. My mother had died. The border had reopened. COVID was ending. We had formulated a solid plan. Get a lawyer, do a prenup since we both had adult children and separate assets, marry. Apply to obtain permanent residency for me. Buy a new car. Do some updates to his house. Sell my condo. I went home to sell my mother's house before moving, and while there, I got a text. "Weird thing happened. I was driving to town and I kept seeing an extra lane in the road." He was limping and slurring his words by the time I got back. I became a caregiver instead of a wife, lived in the suburbs near healthcare instead of the house on the lake, learned to make food in a blender and to switch out a catheter bag. 22 months after that text, I watched him stop breathing. We didn't get to do any of it. Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 08-31-2024 at 05:03 PM.. |
08-31-2024, 07:44 PM | |||
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08-31-2024, 08:30 PM | |||
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Wife has had MS since '99 and it is getting worse and worse. Her mind is still very sharp but her left side of her body is unresponsive. Fortunately, we have been to Europe, Hawaii cruise, and most of the US before she has gotten worse. Last time in Paris, I did think I was going to have to bury her there ( we were NOT told the details of the trip before hand and that there would be no help with her one we got there. We were told she should be able to make the trip). We celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary in June. We wanted to go on an Alaskan cruise that had provisions for electric wheelchairs or scooters. Our travel agent was very clear on that. However, I wanted our daughter to come along and help me and she was just starting a brand new job a couple months before hand. Therefore, we are tentatively planning to go next summer. I think with her helping with luggage and wheelchairs and all that is necessary, we should be okay. |
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